Id say pretty much for the whole of this year Ive been struggling with massive body issues and hang ups but its definitely been highlighted during lockdown and not because I am lazy (Im far from it….my job literally wouldn’t allow me to be) or because I over eat, its been highlighted more due to the pandemic meaning I had to change how I run my business so I went 100% online…which means looking at myself on a Screen at least 3 times a day, editing videos and seeing my body all the time….this hasn’t been good for myself confidence or self esteem….and I have really struggled…and I really feel like no-1 understands, friends will always say “You look fine/strong/healthy to me” or “Dont be daft you look good”…and whilst thats great it doesnt help how I feel….Honestly?? I dont know whats going on, I actually move more now – allowing myself daily walks and teaching more than ever (and because its online I physically have to take part in every class)…yet here I am – in the worst shape of my life, heaviest Ive been (although tbh weight doesnt bother me) and I am so embarrassed and feel like a fraud – its gotten so bad at times Ive cried (yes cried!!) whilst editing videos because I am ashamed of whats going on….now Im not stupid and I know how the body works and theres a lot more than meets the eye….and it never gets helped when trolls or people say stuff..(but in all fairness this has nothing to do with them but they do add to the issues)

I dont even know why I am sharing this but one thing I do know is that YOU NEVER know what someone is going through in their life…Im sharing it I suppose to say it isnt “alright” for us Fitness people because its our job..we are just human too, nor should we be pressured to look a certain way….there is no such thing as the 

”ideal”  body and having a fit looking body doesnt define who you are as a person or what you are capable of…I am good at my job, I know I am (without being conceted) BUT I am struggling with serious body image issues and low self esteem right now.
Here I am chatting pure shit that probably no1 wants to read or even cares about
Stop judging people who work in Fitness and expecting an “Ideal” because it doesnt exist

How you look doesnt define your worth in this world….but it can knock u sideways and make you hit rock bottom
I guess my point…be kind always, because behind a smile and a cheery face someone could be hurting so bad…so just dont be a prick ok??
It will always be 1000000% honesty in my posts and never Bullshit…I will always be open about my struggles in the hope I can bring comfort or help someone else…and if you’ve gotten this far reading this then I applaud you
As you were
Jen x